I found Elana Johson's blog and a post about writing queries. She has a post where she advises writing your query in the voice of your protagonist, tense or person - just get the words out. Then, after you've done that, change it to third person present.
So, I took her advice and re-wrote my query and I think it's much better. It may still need more work, but I think I'm on the right track.
Here's the updated query:
Honour
and scandal collide and the truth of history is definitely stranger
than the fiction of myth in Antigone: The True Story.
Antigone is the famous daughter of an infamous
father, Oedipus. Yes, the
Oedipus. The one that Freud named a whole complex after. The one who
killed his father and married his mother then stuck brooches in his
own eyes in a rampage of shame and horror. However, being a dutiful
daughter, Antigone leaves her home, her life in Thebes, her sister,
and even the boy she loves, to lead her self-blinded and thoroughly
disgraced father around Greece until his death.
The poets
say that is Antigone's story, but there's more. At sixteen the gods
start manipulating Antigone in her dreams, the snakes talk to her,
and she finds herself blessed in a cursed family. While struggling to
understand her gifts, Antigone learns that she is powerful, summoning
ancient forces to heal the sick in a time of plague. However, when
the Olympian gods' fickle whims ravage through her life like a
whirlwind, devastating everything Antigone holds dear, she is forced
to choose between living a lie or embracing her destiny.
Antigone:
The True Story is a young adult fantasy complete at 65,000 words
and is the first of a planned trilogy. I like to think of it as
Sophocles' ancient Greek Oedipus plays meeting Kristin Cashore's
Graceling.
What do you think? Do you have any query writing advice? Do you have a great query?
I think your query sounds very interesting! The only advice I have when it comes to writing a query is to try to make it exciting. I loved the advice you shared. That makes sense to me and seems like a great way to write a query.
ReplyDeleteI read your query over twice and it sounds good to me. I do think you could take out the word "However" and that sentence would be a little stronger (but that is just my thought and I am not an expert). Also you may want to consider- in the last sentence taking out "I like to think of it as" and just say: Think of it as Sophocles' ancient Greek Oedpipus meets Kristin Cashore's Graceling.
Great post!
~Jess