In the spring, I was so determined to blog regularly again, to finish editing my book, and to get it published by the middle of October. Well, here we are, the middle of September, and I am struggling with all of those things.
There has been a lot going on. Stress levels have been high because my husband is a school teacher and he went on strike in June and only went back on Friday, which amounts to over 5 weeks of being on the picket line (if you don't count the summer). The kids, of course, have also been off school this whole time. It has certainly changed the dynamics around the house -- everyone off for 3 1/2 months. Then there are the financial worries that come with being on strike.
I am grateful that the strike is over now. However, there was a lot of stress during this time and it has triggered some nasty mental health issue for me. I have been in full fledged self sabotage mode. I have done some editing, but it has been difficult. I have done some research on self publishing, but not as much as I wanted. I have hired someone to design my book cover, but we have hit some snags.
One of the things that makes reading forums, blogs, and other people's stories is that they are both inspiring and frustrating. I see so many people who are able, successfully, to put out a book every 3 to 4 months. Wow. I've been working on my Antigone series for 3 to 4 years. I love to read about people making a living publishing their books and are having a great time doing it. However, I am also intimidated by them and their productivity.
I find I need to stand back and look at the bigger picture and give myself some credit. I have, for the most part, written what will become a young adult trilogy and just need to finish editing it. Over the last few months, under very stressful circumstances and with mental health problems, I have done some editing, researching, and have taken concrete steps to get my book published.
I need to realize that the way I write is the best way for me. It would seem that sometimes I need these lulls in productivity. I like to call them time to percolate. I am one of those people who needs time to take things in and sort them out in my head, and that's okay. I need to realize that the speed at which I publish my book is perfect for me, to learn from other people's experiences, but to stop comparing myself to them.
And I need to remember that baby steps rock. They really do. Doing something every day (or most days, or some days), no matter how small, towards finishing my book is a step in the right direction. Doing anything with 3 kids at home, a husband on strike, and while dealing with major health issues is amazing. It's important to remember the value of those teeny, tiny baby steps.